Secondary should be just fine. Actually, secondary is probably your best option.
If it's as sugary as he says, couldn't that set off a prolonged second fermentation? If it was just fruit then I'd agree, but this has been sweetened. I'd think that adding it to the primary would be best, so it will finish quickly. On the other hand most of the fruity aroma may bubble out in the primary. Personally, I'd add it to the sweet wort after chilling. That way a gravity reading can be taken before pitching the yeast.
As far as how much goes, doing it by taste does seem like the best idea. Personally I'm too lazy to bother with removing some, adding to taste, and then do some math. This is a hobby, not a job. I'd just start by adding a bit, tasting (giving the spoon a good rinse in hot water in between, or using a fresh one), then determining if more should be added. Keep in mind that it takes four to six pounds of blackberries to make one gallon of wine, and I assume you're doing a five gallon batch. You may end up adding more than you anticipate to get the desired flavor.
Now that I think about it, you may want to plan on reducing the target volume. You may add several mason jars, and each one makes the batch that much bigger.
I assume she used pectin to thicken the jam, but apparently not enough. That pectin may cause a haze in the beer. Most homebrew shops sell pectic enzyme, which is supposed to neutralize the pectin. I use it when I make fruit wine. That won't affect the flavor though. It's purely cosmetic, so it won't hurt to not use it.
Please let us know how it comes out. I've made blackberry wine, and it came out OK. A blackberry hefe sounds divine.